Season 5: Episode 9 - “Dark Shadows”
I DO Think About You... All of the Time Actually!
“Dark Shadows”
Season 5: Episode 9
Written by Erin Levy
Directed by Scott Hornbacher
Setting: November 1966
Outside of Don Draper smoking in pure bliss at the movie theater, there is one image that has carried Mad Men far beyond its actual audience and into the exhausting world of “images you see on Instagram in steadily worse jpeg quality 1000 times”
One of the most iconic quotes of the show: “I don’t think about you at all.” A BADASS line to show the ALPHA mindset that BETAS do nothing but disrespect your GRIND.
But… is it really?
This is Don’s face immediately after putting down Michael Ginsberg in the elevator. He very much does care what other people think of him and is forever haunted if they dislike or “feel bad” for him.
Don and Ginsberg are tortured advertising geniuses who want to be acknowledged for their work. Don distracted himself by having his wife work beside him, a constant source of approval even if he was getting no work done. With her gone, he would have returned to his worst vices much earlier had he not received the validation of a winning pitch.
The chance for Ginsberg’s work to compete against his in a pitch meeting is abandoned to lessen his insecurity.
Don knows how to pitch himself as well as any product. Saying he never thinks about Ginsberg will make him seem like the strong authority figure, but privately he is now hurting just as much as Ginsberg is.
Don Draper, the “ideal” of an American male in the 1960s is driven most of all by his insecurities.
We all have insecurities and pretending they are not present is no way to address them. That doesn’t mean they should become part of our personality but airing them is a way to face the monster building in your mind and perhaps see that it is nothing but hot air.
Betty tries to take this approach to heart by attending Weight Watchers meetings to celebrate other women hoping to lose a few pounds. Unfortunately, by the end of the episode she is in the same boat as Don.
She tells Sally about Anna Draper, hoping to create a rift between Don and Megan, but the experience strengthens Don’s bond with Sally because he chose to be truthful about it.
Betty isn’t just feeling pain over her ex-husband’s new wife being skinnier than her, she is wishing she could be Megan. Deep down, Betty never wanted to be a full-time housewife. She was pushed into the role because it was expected of her and would have been far happier continuing as a model bankrolled by a rich husband.
This too would have been followed by insecurity whether she had chosen the right path. What pains her is that she feels she never had the chance and that her path was always doomed to reach this point.
A point where all she could do was lie to herself to stay sane.
Roger battles his insecurities by sleeping with his ex-wife to prove to himself that she would still want him.
After attending a dinner that simply had an attractive man present, Roger imagines his wife beginning an affair with him and insists upon seeing her new apartment she is moving into specifically because it will have no memories of her ex-husband inside it.
Roger has proven his insecurity wrong but caused great harm to a person he cares about. Jane’s new apartment is no different from her last one because it now has memories of Roger.
Insecurities have obvious and often small beginnings but disastrous and large ends. Megan upsets a friend, auditioning for the vampire soap opera Dark Shadows, who is barely scraping by in her career. In contrast, Megan never has to worry about money as she attempts to break through in acting.
Megan’s insecurity is that she will never get a part despite having time and money.
Her friend’s insecurity is that having no time or money will prevent her from getting a part.
Both insecurities threaten to poison their friendship. Speaking them aloud and choosing not to be defined by fear helped both move beyond a destructive insecurity.
What makes these insecurities all unwarranted is that each is disproven throughout the episode:
Don’s pitch is a hit with the client even if they might have just as easily bought Ginsberg’s. He’s still got it after all this time!
Betty is beloved by her husband and family who are patient and encouraging as she tries to lose weight
Roger is still desired despite being 200 years old
Megan is a good actress who only recently entered this career
Peggy, Ginsberg, and Stan are great at their jobs even if Roger isn’t constantly throwing whatever money he has in his pockets at them.
Pete feels unloved after being denied the continuation of an affair with a commuter’s wife despite his wife Trudy being devoted and loving to him. He is the most insecure character on the show (outside of Harry Crane) with the least reason to be.
If these characters stopped choosing to be defined by insecurity, they would be fine. That’s easier said than done but they have every reason not to let insecurity swallow them. Their day-to-day may not be everything they want but once they stop and look at how far they’ve come, it can be a wonderful life.
Whatever insecurity you feel right now, think about everything that contradicts that unending fear and can halt it from defining you. You would never want someone to lie to you. In your worst insecurities, you may find that you have been lying to yourself.
A fog of fears present so long it began to feel normal. It can always lift and the sky will be clear again.
