Why Don Draper Hates Birthdays
Today is my birthday, don't abandon the party and show up with a golden retriever all at once
It’s my birthday so what better time than this to write about the 1960s Grinch of birthdays — Don Draper… or more so, Dick Whitman.
Don Draper hates birthdays and not just his own.
I’m making this a free to read special article as a birthday treat from both myself and Dick Whitman who is also an Aries. For those new to Mad World, weekly Friday Mad Men episode breakdowns are free and special articles like this one are behind a paywall. After a break this week, the next episode post for S2 Ep11 “The Jet Set” will be available Friday. You can subscribe to Mad World for free or in a paid tier to read more articles like this one by clicking on the button below:
Let’s start by analyzing something that I never care about, Zodiac signs. I find no meaning in them and disassociate once they become a topic of discussion.
Assigning them to fictional characters; however, does interest me as there can be clear intent behind that.
Don Draper, the original who was killed in Korea and then had his identity stolen by Dick Whitman, was born during the Gemini season (May 21st - June 21st). The Gemini constellation represents “The Twins” playing off the fact that Don Draper is actually two people.
Dick Whitman’s birthday falls during the Aries season (March 21st - April 19th) and Aries represents a singular spirit. There is no other Dick Whitman and so few people know that there actually is a Dick Whitman at all.
This of course means nothing to Don Draper who, I am certain, dissociates even more than I do when Zodiac symbols are discussed. The birthdays of Dick Whitman and Don Draper are just a further layer of subtlety in an already immensely well thought out show. Don’t go reading into their horoscopes though, a man like Don Draper doesn’t need to be hearing “You will find new love soon” every Tuesday.
Throughout the show, we see Don give little care to his birthday… anyone else’s birthday… and basically anything that reminds him of the passage of time inching him closer towards death. As Don says in the first episode of the show, “I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one.” What good is a birthday to a man who thinks like that?
For Don, birthdays are a constant reminder not only that he is getting older but that he is living a lie. His birthday is not actually his birthday. The only moment we see him speak of his actual birthday is a pathetic pleading attempt to get a flight attendant to sleep with him by, oddly enough, telling her the truth that it is his real birthday.
It feels like something a teenager would do to get his way but Dick Whitman never did really grow up after all.
Beyond this, Don never wants to be in a situation that he cannot immediately leave. We see this at his own daughter’s birthday party when he abandons his family on a complete whim and then returns with a golden retriever that was acquired under unknown circumstances.
Don Draper cannot jump out of the window at his own surprise party. Even if Megan had not Zou Bisou’d in front of his coworkers, his iconic Season 5 birthday party was doomed from the start. When people are in a situation where they’d rather have things be exactly their way, they’ll find anything to grasp onto as a problem.
Zou Bisou was the dynamite that immediately revealed a hole in their marriage but it is important to understand that Don would have gone to bed upset about something that night anyway. The party was always doomed. We can see during her performance that Don actually likes what Megan is doing for him. Zou Bisou, as iconic of a scene as it is, could have been anything and Don would have still found a way to demean Megan once everyone left.
Don tells himself that his ideal birthday is one where no one says happy birthday at all, where it is just another day.
This will still not make him happy.
Choosing to exist as if life is not taking place at all is not happiness. After too long does he realize that choosing to feel and do nothing is the worst action of a “content” life. Our celebrations of life are not just for us, they are for the people in our lives who we love. Don does not understand that. He only likes the beginning of things and, for his own birth, the beginning was never good. Dick Whitman was born in blood in Illinois and Don Draper was born again in blood in Korea.
Dick Whitman hadn’t had a birthday in years and cries out for attention and gifts.
Don Draper’s death day remains unremembered and each following birthday is a reminder that the end of the Gemini twins is closer. If only he learned that this isn’t just his day, it’s for everyone who cares about him too.
Happy birthday to Dick Whitman.
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I have a chill day planned, heading back to the apartment tonight for a relaxed evening in with no surprises, coworkers, or French music… wait a minute, why are my business partner and his much younger wife waiting by the door with wine?
Happy Birthday, Ben!